Mexico Bound!

Holy Shmidt!  As I have explained a few times in the past day, this whole journey through this cancer healing process is: MADNESS, MADNESS, MADNESS!!!... stillness... stillness... stillness... MADNESS, MADNESS, MADNESS!!!  Last Thursday was one of those mad days.  I had an apt with my oncologist with expectations of getting my bone marrow biopsy back following my 2nd round of chemo.  I was optimistic as I had been feeling great and had not yet heard anything from her (following that old adage that "no news is good news").  My spirits certainly dropped as she conveyed to me the reality of the situation.  My cancer blast count was at 17%.  In her 25 years of experience I am one of two cases she's had that did not experience a cancer remission following 2 rounds of chemo.  As I explained, the rest of that day was BIG in terms of processing, talking, and getting a grip on what to do next.  I left the Pavilion scheduled for a 3rd round of chemo the following week with the prognosis that the chances of it being successful was dwindling.  To be more precise, as she explained to me, statistically the 1st round of chemo has an 80% of remission (though it may be temporary) and by the 3rd round, if there hasn't been a remission, the odds are down to 20-30%.  By the end of the day, I can truthfully say, I had taken this disheartening news and had channeled it into a new level of motivation and focus.  For the next 3 days I operated in an newly empowered state knowing, as I have deeply known all along, that this healing journey is about me and my ability to find the healer within me.  There is more to this part of the story... for another time.  The reality right now is I am typing madly away at 6:30 in the morning in a dazed sleep-deprived state with partially packed bags on my bed and a flight at 10am...

Yesterday (Tues) was another one of those MAD days.  I woke up with angst following a day of processing some deep anger that was triggered by discovering a broken window in my van in front of our house (another story!).  By noon I had calmed down and was researching the new chemo protocol I was slated for.  As has been the case all along, the temptation of a trip to Angeles Hospital in Mexico was lingering, the logistics just seemed so challenging.  I had been stuck and disappointed a few times already with that process.  I was researching flights to San Diego, which were affordable, but the concern of traveling commercial in an immune-compromised state is a bit daunting.  Efforts had been put into Angel Flights, a service offered by private pilots to transport medical patients for care, and we had been approved, but the actual reality of it aligning seemed less and less likely.  "We've got a pilot for one leg, but not the other..." and other logistical issues.  However!  Upon glancing at my email around two I noticed a second email from "Mission Coordinator" and my thoughts began to spin.  Upon reading it, my mind started to spin.  I could be in Mexico by tomorrow?!!!

My head has been spinning since.  The rest of the day yesterday I can hardly describe (like so many of these days) other than a blur of doing what seems has to be done.  Details aside, by 6pm I had the final stamp of approval, an email from the coordinator at Angeles Hospital saying, "Confirmed, we will have a driver pick you up at the Brown Field Airport tomorrow."  The day didn't end until after midnight when I fell into bed with mostly packed bags and a buzzing energy bounding throughout my body.  Snuggles and deep breaths and a good five hours of sleep later I sit here dazed and amazed.  Here we go!  The next episode of this beyond epic experience...  I feel very good about it, as does everyone around me.  One thing that's been remarkable about this experience has been the flow of it.  How things have aligned, even seeming dismal at the time, the unfolding of the process makes sense, even if in some unexplainable, strange and abstract way.  This opportunity feels right.  I have had a week straight of feeling the best I have since this whole thing started.  Despite the chemo's lack of success, and the presence of cancer in my marrow, I have felt myself getting stronger.  In fact, I speculate if the energy within me is part of what has kept the chemo from working.  As my oncologist said, "I have never seen anyone bounce back from chemo the way you have..."  There are many questions that will never be answered, but for now one thing is clear.  I will be in Mexico by tonight.

Scheduled is a 2-3 day consult with a treatment plan and price tag to follow.  At that point I will decide what is next.  It's likely that I'll stay for treatment for two more weeks after.  As with everything there are risks.  As they stated a number of times, if anything happens that requires intermediate or intensive care the costs would get astronomical.  We are planning on a smooth experience, as I've said, this feels right.  Still, this is an out-of-pocket experience with payment required before treatment.  Due to the short timing those details aren't yet set, but, another opportunity to invest in faith.  Manifestation mission: $35Ks by Monday!  WHOOOO!!!  What a journey!!!  Two hours and counting before I need to be out the door.  Christopher and I will be sailing through the skies today on two different 4-seater planes and landing near the Mexican border around 2pm.  See you from the other side!